Contemplation

12/29/2015

2015 you've been kind... 2016 gods... make this year as incredible as the last...
Another year has flown by and we've reached the time when resolutions are made. Yet again, mine is to by the end of the year have the ability to eat vegetables, or even simply healthy food without making a face like the one above. Such a struggle, you can see the tears as I bite into a horrific vege aka a capsicum... 
Exactly one year ago I had never been more tired of this old city. Literally every suburb on the train line had been visited and the temptation of a one way ticket to no where was never stronger. I'd come across this old place on a walk with a friend, tried to break into the possibly the easiest abando in all of Sydney, and failed. 3 months later... I was in. Let the adventures begin...
Practicing my mugshot face.. no lie, the fear was real for a hot minute. It didn't take long for the paranoia to wear off and the fun to begin... (the scares would soon return)
2015 was a time of a billion firsts, first time putting in effort at school, first attempt at recovery (depression/anxiety), and 8 months ago, the first time the thought of love didn't make me want to vomit a tsunami of spew in a 1km radius around myself. 
*because lunch looks good*
6 months ago, and adventures took a new turn upon the discovery of roof-topping. This old place was my first rooftop, and on that day, a sunset and conversations I'll never forget...
Around this time was when the scares returned. Bex-ing doesn't come without consequence especially in inexperience. By this time I'd been past two large asbestos scares and made it through one legitimate chase. All I can say is bless the gym being enough for my extremely unfit self... I too am surprised I made it out. Oh early days....
Fast forward through the blurry months of 'goodbye Kristen's social life, hello prelims' and back in the game harder than ever. Let me take you into my world back in these days; imagine yourself at the top of a 40-storey, legs dangling of the side as the wind howls, a drink in one hand and a friend's camera in the other. Why not mine? Because the best moments can never truly be captured but for them, it was close enough. 
In all honesty, I can barely remember these other photographers or the moments above but have to give thanks to all the people I've met through Instagram and shot with. Much love to you!
Slowly I watched as all my friends quit.. 'it was eets but r3dh0t lass..' Even today... I still don't understand lad-speak. Why are all the big urbex photographers lads...? And slowly, I too switched photography styles to fashion in more 'yawn' locations. Doesn't mean the adventures have ended forever though *winks* 
One month ago, and with yearlies having passed, the biggest struggle was deciding which shoes to wear. The ones which are going to slice your heels to bits, or the ones that will rub your toes off? Both always have the same consequences in the end: feet numb, legs numb-er. 
By this time, almost every toxic person had been removed or removed themselves from my life and the biggest piece of advice I can give, if you have any in yours; go ahead and cut them out. It may be hard at first but trust me on this one, you'll instantly feel lighter and everything will be more beautiful. 
Right now its late at night/early morning, and another coffee freshly finished. Perhaps ending the caffeine addiction should be another resolution but... fat chance of that one happening. 
12 months later to present day the hate for Sydney is completely gone. There's always new places to find and new people to meet, and I'm in love.
This has basically been a big old urbex follow-me but school, love and life? 
School: I can't say I'm a 99.95-er, not a 90-er either... but from queen dropkick to not-missed-an-assignment for a whole 12 months; it was something new.
Love: The scariest part of this year was likely coming out. The biggest lesson learnt? Never give all your love to one person only, no, it should be shared with the world. Let me shoot myself with the *cringe* 
And finally... life. Recovery was six years coming but, done. If you're struggling through hard times know it will get better, I know everyone says it and it may take some time, but it will happen I assure you. Promise.

2015, thank you for all the incredible opportunities and fresh experiences, the new people I got the chance to meet and the old I was able to know better, every change and every set back. This post is for everyone who I've been able to share this year with, whether it be URL or IRL. Can't share the love enough. 
Perhaps you've noticed there's something wrong with the picture above, and soon you'll notice, that's not the only one. Yes that last one... deliberate. I wasn't just lazy with Photoshop.. hur...hur. 
For this post, I'd never left home. Why? Because if I were to return to any of these locations, I'd be shooting in apartment blocks, or construction sites of such in progress. A Rest-In-Peace to all these gorgeous places! They're all ghosts and I too am still haunting all of them in spirit/re-visiting in dreams.

This post is also many firsts in itself: self shot, self-done hair and something I'd like to try more in 2016: MUA work? 
Wearing: Both dresses: Temt, Shoes (left to right): Lipstik 'Nadine' and Steve Madden, Earrings: Dangerfield, Nails: Chocoolatte by Sally Hansen, Lips: Poisonberry by Lime Crime x Onyx by Ulta3, Lunch: Dad (cheers!) !!!

To end this extremely long ramble with friends, fam and photographers already thanked... thank you, yes you lovely, for reading. This blog wouldn't exist without you! 
Sending my love and best wishes,
 To another fantastic year *raises imaginary flute of champagne*,
Kris out, until 2016 xx

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